Lessons learned during my first week on the job

Here's some of the things I have learned as I begin my life as a Crown Corporation drone:

• There is a place that uses more acronyms than Canadian Blood Services
• Fridays are dress down days . . . I wore a freaking skirt today
• You will need an MP3 player with big time memory because when you're listening to ALL day, the songs soon start to repeat themselves
• I have been spoiled by my corner office looking at the park . . . I will NEVER get used to living in cubicle hell
• Apparently women can grow hair on their chests (I'll explain that one later)
• And meetings are really an excuse to go for coffee at one of the three coffee shops on my block

New Job

I'm on day two, and so far, things are looking pretty good at the new gig. My boss seems reasonable and easy going, there's a group of women in the next cubicle that like to gossip and eat sweets, and hitting the Cornwall Centre is very convenient for lunch hour shopping.

Only trouble is my attention deficient syndrome (which I have self diagnosed). Once it comes time to do some serious writing, I really and truly do not belive I will have the self discipline to ignore the chatter.

That, and I MISS MY FRIENDS AT CANADIAN BLOOD SERVICES!

What the Hell is the deal with Nylons

There have been many advancements in the world of fashion over the years, but why are nylons still so freaking uncomfortble? If you have any sort of junk in the trunk (and if you're reading this, you likely do because I tend to hate skinny people), you know the misery of nylons.

• If you've got big thighs, the bloody crotch ends up around your knees.
• If you actually suck it up and buy the size that is supposed to fit you, you soon realize that means you'll have the tops firmly tucked up under your boobs.
• If you've invested in the miracles they promise of the tummy tamers, you know that you will not be breathing for the entire evening (and if you're like me, you'll have a lovely roll at mid-stomach beacause it simply squeezes the fat up.

Ladies! Let us unite in the anti-nylon movement. We might have at least a good month left of nice weather! No nylons until there is 10 feet of snow on the ground. Suck it up and fight the evil man that invented these horrible things!

Flower beds

My house looks like a crack house. Yes, it is cute and reasonably maintained, but the flower bed must go! Of course, we've had nothing but rain so that is my excuse for not digging the bloody thing up. But truthfully, my fear is what to do with it once I've ridded my home of the mangled mess.

And what the Hell is with wood chips? They do nothing but make weeding a pain in the ASS! I will have a 5 gallon pail full for anyone that wants them. I am willing to negotiate a straight exchange for a bottle of Shiraz.

On another note, my father's Parkinson is getting worse. It is sure hard to see your parents age and slowly become weaker. We have had 15 years of slight tremours and no real developments. To have it hit so hard in the last year is a real surprise. Fortunately, I am already involved in fundraising for Parkinson research at the University of Saskatchewan. Our curling bonspiel and golf tournament have raised $1 million to date. Did you know that we have one of the world's leading experts in our province? The alarming thing is that Saskatchewan actually has a higher rate per capita of Parkinson (and MS for that matter) than anywhere in the world.

We have a MAJOR problem

Imagine my horror of reading this news report on CBC's website today:

A Tim Hortons double-double "with two creams and two sugars" has 160 calories per 10-ounce cup. A black coffee had about 10 calories and no fat.

Many of you likely know that I sustain myself on at least one of these everyday, and you'll realize that perhaps my constant battle of the bulge could be blamed on my addiction. "Why?" you ask, does she willingly wait 20 minutes in a drive thru? And for those in Eastern Canada who are blessed with a Timmie Ho's on every corner, you would not believe the distance I must travel to find this amazing nectar! There are (count them!) ONLY four stores in the entire city! I bet Halifax has four on every block!

For those that may be unfamiliar with Tim Hortons, it is simply the best coffee chain in the world (and to further endear it to Canadian's hearts, it was created by a former hockey player). To top it off, there are many people that believe the coffee is actually laced with crack cocaine because it is so unbelievably addictive!

If I couldn't laugh at myself, I would cry

So this easily falls into a Moment of the Day:

Last night, we went to see the opening show for Globe Theatre's Season. And while it was very, very good, I did manage to make an ass of myself. During intermission, we went out for a drink. When we came back, I went and sat myself down in the absolutely wrong chair beside a guy who was likely thinking, "Who the Hell is this chick? And just wait until my wife gets here and takes a round out of her."

Of course, Scott being the dear that he is, doesn't descreetly let me know that I've sat down in the wrong chair. He instead yells, "Leanne!" across the theatre where he is correctly sitting. I am seeing the down fall of having round theatres and going with men that think it is hilarious when the ego of smarty-pants Leanne gets knocked down a peg.

New pictures from Dr. Tim

Dr. Tim was one of two Kiwi Tims on the tour. Very sweet boy that tended to find trouble after a few drinks. Here we (Kelly and Megan from LA) are in Lyon, France after having some interesting conversation and expensive coffee. It's funny how you can share some very embarrassing and incriminating information with strangers after spending only a few weeks with them. Megan has already promised to visit me with her husband . . . and I'm really looking forward to showing here everything Vagina, Scrath-cha-bum has to offer!

Nakedness of Noah

Last night in my uni class, we took a look at how Americans justified slavery, and apparently there is a part of the bible that they used (see below). But what I found particularily interesting is that there was actually a scene at the sistine chapel that depicted the nakedness of Noah. I remember being very interested in the scene at the Vatican (as I always am when nakedness is involved) , but of course I didn't understand it at the time.

The most amusing part of the whole thing is that apparently during Noah's day, it was really, really bad to see your dad naked. Some things just never change . . . I still think it would be really, really bad (and mental torture) to see your father in his birthday suit.

Noah was the first tiller of the soil. He planted a vineyard; and he drank of the wine, and became drunk, and lay uncovered in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside.Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it upon both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father's nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, he said, "Cursed be Canaan; a slave of slaves shall he be to his brothers." He also said, "Blessed by the LORD my God be Shem; and let Canaan be his slave. God enlarge Japheth, and let him dwell in the tents of Shem; and let Canaan be his slave." Genesis 9

Sister Sandwiches

Above, we have obviously had too much too drink in Nice. We decided that Kevin (honeymooner from Baker Lake) needed a sister sandwich because it was his 30th birthday. In the second picture, Mick (our bus driver) deserved one for getting us safely from point A to point B each and every day.

Travel Pictures!

Having a pre-dinner drink in Florence before a fabulous meal. It was similiar to a Greek wedding with dancing, singing and fun. It was incredible because it was also smattered with opera performances.

This is the kinda place Sask-scrathcha-bum is

I secretly love how red-neck Saskatchewan is. While living in Alberta for eight years, I noticed that it was moving from naturally being red-neck to being outrageously red-neck. In Saskatchewan, we are still innocently hick town.

However, this whole issue with tubal ligation in Humbolt: What the HELL? We are in the year 2006, and a Catholic hospital now decides to pump its muscle and send women to Saskatoon to exercise their right to control their bodies????? The Church needs to wake up . . . or they will soon realize that their churches are empty (and so are the collection boxes). We are a FREE society, which includes giving women the right to choose what happens to their bodies.
And my understanding is that this hospital is funded by the provincial government. This administration seriously needs to give their head a shake!

Few more marathon thoughts

There's a few more lessons learned that I would like to share:

• Don't get too cocky because you just passed an 77 year old runner, because sure as can be, they will be passing you
• If you're into gruesome body things, you can look forward to some wild blisters that pop up in the most amazing places, body rashes and, of course, your bowels will turn into your worst enemy
• Marathons are addicting . . . I am already thinking about next year.

DONE!

I have finished a marathon--yes . . . I have run 26 miles! Or even more impressive, 42.2 km!! I buggered my knee so I limped 16 miles of the bloody thing, but I finished!

Lessons learned are:

• Advil is your friend (I had four regular and one extra strength)
• Tylenol works just as well (I had two extra strength of those too)
• Train instead of drinking your face off in Europe
• Having a cheering squad really helps!
• The shirt for finishers is way cooler than half marthon ones
• Run if you see a camera--you don't want all your pictures to be of you walking

Bring on children . . . it can't be anything like the pain I just put myself through. And the bizarre thing is that I'm already planning for next year.

And fyi--I have a new cell phone number: 531-8973

The love of my life is sleeping with another woman

This is Senor Don Gato (named after the Italian children's song), and September marks our second anniversary of being together. I remember the day I spotted him at the Human Soceity . . . he really had no interest in me and was much more excited about a bunny in a cage. I was smitten immediately. I brought him home, and I then realized that his fondness for biting was his way of saying he loved me.

Alas, this is where my story turns tragic. Shannon's friend has moved into my spare room as she goes to University. Scott has named her Susy Sparkypants because she is quite likely the happiest person I have ever met. However, I am not complaining because it is really, really nice to have a positive energy in the house. BUT, Senor has also taken a liking to her, and the little bugger now sleeps with her instead of me! I am totally and absolutely wounded. Really! If it hadn't be for me, he'd be dead!

And thanks to many, many request, I am reintroducing Moment of the Day!: I ran 3 kms last night with no ill effects so I think my leg is cured and I am ready for the marathon. I also picked up my race package. It contained the usual fun sample packs including TWO trials of Tylenol. There is just something about small convenience packages that makes me happy!

Pimples

I am 30 years old! Why do I still have pimples? If you are starting to worry about wrinkles, you should not still be buying acne medication. This is just wrong.

This can't be Canada

What is with this heat? It is +32 degrees today! I have seen, in my limited 30 years of experience, snow in August for Pete's sake! Thankfully, I've got sweet A/C at my little home. I am not complaining because the temperatures are supposed to drop tomorrow and be quite reasonable on Sunday for the big marathon. I've got a new plan, and I'm feeling okay about it. My friend Julie is running the half marathon, so I will run with her to keep a good pace and not tire myself out. It's amazing how knowing I will have company for at least 21 kms is making me feel more calm.

Please bare with me my faithful travel junkies--more pictures are coming. Shannon has given me some great ones, but I have to reduce their resolution because they're a little too large to post right now. Stay tuned for cute pictures of such Aussie delights as Lisa, Melanie and Sarah, Vancouver's Sam, and yes, Aaron (aka monsterously tall Kiwi) may also be making an appearance.

I'm back to University tonight! I could be a student for the rest of my life if it paid better! And for those I haven't informed, I have accepted a position doing communications for SaskPower. My last day with Canadian Blood Services is September 22nd.

Mary Queen of Scots and Versailles

This is another thing that has been bothering me. I believe that Mary Queen of Scots grew up at the Palace of Versailles, and I've been hunting for the answer. Of course, I could simply re-read the tomb of a book that I have about her, but instead I have choosen to spend hours surfing the internet. Can you tell that tomorrow is a holiday? Anyway, Wikipedia says that she was sent to the French Court where apparently she was quite the little doll. Once old enough, she married the Dauphin at Notre Dame. I think that means that she was at Versailles.

And to top it off, I am re-reading Anne Frank's Diary, and I just finished book by Margaret Atwood on Penelope's version of the Odyssey. I think I am bored. I also have The KiteRunner and Angels & Demons waiting for me.

Flash backs

Okay, I was driving home to Esterhazy (the potash capital of the world) so I had two hours to think, which is never a good thing.

One thing that has bothered me for sometime now is that in Holland there are no fences between the farmer's fields, just little canals (and I would only really call them a stream because they can't be more than two feet across). In fact, as our Contiki Manager Emma told us, BMW actually prefers to use the leather from Holland because they know the hides will not be scratched up from fences. But this is my question: How come the cattle (and they even had some horses) not just or wade through the water? I ask Shannon about four times, and just as I was about to ask for the fifth time, I thought better. She was pretty snarky the last time when she replied, "I DON'T KNOW."

Other than that, I officially have seven days until I will run a marathon. I ran 32 km about a week ago, and I haven't been able to run since. Just as I recovered from that, I was goofing around and pulled a muscle in my groin area (one of my very favourite areas!). Am I starting to freak out? YES! But I read in "Runner's World" that to help pass the kms, you should make a list and dedicate a prayer to someone for each km. I've got a few already in mind, but if you're in need of some help from the Man himself, let me know. Even if you don't have strong feelings about prayer, I would still like to give you a good thought as I run through the marathon. I've got to come up with 42 people!