Day two of the "life change"

So the new buzz is that you're not supposed to go on a diet . . . instead, we are supposed to eat only healthy things in moderation. Sounds like a diet to me.

But no matter what the deal, I could really used a huge, freaking piece of CHOCOLATE CAKE! With icing . . . not that bland stuff . . . I want the stuff that is so freaking sugary your teeth fall out as you eat it. And screw all you people that say, "Oh! I can't eat that! It's too sweet." Too Sweet? What the hell is that? Too Sweet is not even possible.

I think the sooner people start admiting that we like eating (because the facts say we are all getting fatter so we must be putting something in our mouths), the sooner we can quit all these ridiculous eating games. Games, you ask? Games like I Only Gorge Myself in My Bedroom so it Doesn't Count or Blame the Cat for Eating the Entire Puff Wheat Cake in a Day.